I’m opening this blog to those in my Musar class, The 613 Habits of Highly Effective People (well, it was open before, but I’m steering the class here now). The next class will focus on the middah (attribute) of gratitude. I’m encouraging people in the class (and feel free to jump in if you’re not in the class) to comment on the post, and comment on the comments. In other words, let’s use the blog as a place for discussion.
But first, something strange for Thanksgiving. In Hebrew, the word hodu means both “turkey” and “give thanks.” Think about that coincidence over the holiday…
Back to gratitude. In this week’s Torah portion, Vayeitzei, Jacob famously lays down to sleep and dreams of a ladder reaching up to heaven. God addresses him, assuring him that the Divine presence will be with Jacob as he journeys.
Then Jacob wakes up. Startled, he says “Ah, yes, God is in this place – and I did not know.” This is commonly understood in two ways. Some people (Ibn Ezra, Rashi) say that the actual spot where Jacob went to sleep was loaded with prophetic energy. But others (Genesis Rabbah) point out that “this place” could refer to the whole world.
If we go with this second interpretation, then we should constantly be saying, like Jacob, “God is in this place and I did not know.”
This fits nicely with the phrase that best conveys gratitude in Hebrew: hakarat ha-tov, literally “recognition of the good.” Simply put, that’s what gratitude is: recognizing what is good in our lives, without either denying or getting caught up in the myriad problems we know are there, too.
Gratitude is essential to a Jewish life. It’s in our prayers, blessings, rituals. We are supposed to wake up to it, sleep to it, eat to it. Having said that, it’s easier to talk about gratitude than to feel it. How is it going for you?
Happy Thansgiving, and please share your thoughts about gratitude. For those in the class, you may also decide this is a good place to comment on the theme’s of last class: humility and patience.
So, let me express my genuine gratitude for those of you who read this blog and share your thoughts with me on and off line. And a heartfelt thank you also to those who have already made the 613 Habits class so rich already.
- Rabbi Josh
Nice. Didn't know about hodu. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteVery cool. Have a good yom hoda'ah.
ReplyDeleteReflections and Comments on
ReplyDeleteRabbi Josh’s blog, Gratitude-
Overstuffed Turkey edition
I thought about the coincidence of our thanksgiving holiday and that hodu means both “turkey” and “give thanks” in Hebrew. America has more of a foundation in Judaism than many Americans realize. Many of the pilgrims were of Jewish ancestry and therefore have many common inclinations to Jewish values and culture. Many of the merchants, politicians and professionals of America during America’s expansion were Jewish.
I don’t know how far Jacob had progressed in his knowledge and understanding of Adonai, but because when he awoke from laying his head on a rock and seeing his vision of angels scaling a ladder to Heaven and commented “Ah yes, God is in this place, and I did not know” this suggests that he needed further enlightenment into the meanings of the words, omniscience, omnipotent, and omnipresence when describing the awesomeness of God.
Of course God has as much power and knowledge in the remotest part of Earth as He does in His Holy spot in Jerusalem, which I believe is the dome of the rock where Jacob laid his head. (I could be wrong because this place was named Bethel, I believe)
God can choose to manifest His power and sovereignty wherever He wants to, but He says He will choose Jerusalem from which He will anoint one of the messiahs to rule the universe forever under His guidance and control.
Rabbi Josh so profoundly states that it is easier to say hodu than it is to feel it. When we were children it was probably the reverse, but as we age and recognize our extreme limitations of feeling emotions anymore, it is important that we express our emotions verbally so as not to lose these attributes of our soul.
I'm a christian who was wandering around the internet this morning looking for some of the Hebrew roots for the words gratitude and thanks. Thank you for your blog, it was a very welcome meditation on having a grateful heart. Happy Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteBare tree limbs against a deeply blue sky always do it for me for gratitude. And "turkey" comes from the hebrew tukki or parrot.
ReplyDeleteRabbi Rose said it's easier to talk about gratitude than to feel it, but sometimes it can work the other way too. I feel gratitude more often than I express it. On that note, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the students and the teacher of this class. I learn a lot from the discussions. Thanks for sharing. I'm also very grateful for my family and friends, but they don't hear it often enough. I'm usually alone (sometimes in a synagogue) when I think of how important they are to me. It's good that I recognize them as gifts in my life, but it would be better if they knew and heard more often how I felt about them.
ReplyDeleteAlso, one comment about patience, which I've been working on for a while now: it can be exhausting to be patient. I feel worn out sometimes when I'm doing a great job of holding back from whatever reaction I might be feeling. I think it's still progress and maybe it won't feel like this as I get better at it?
Moe - nice comment. For me the night sky always brings that sense of awe and dread that stem from confronting the magnificence of the physical world. The visible stars remind us that we stand on the border of infinity. M'lo chol ha'aretz kvodo. The entire earth is filled with Divine Glory.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: I know what you mean about feeling gratitude but not being able to express it. There's a lovely traditional saying, which is "his insides are like his outsides" - which means that he is the same person privately that he is in public. Maybe this can be understood to be an aspiration that the elevated private feelings we have can find their way out.
A possible solution comes from the Ramchal, who talks about the importance of not becoming lackadaisical in our observance of mitzvot. When it occurs to us to do a mitzvah, we often get excited about the possibility but then come up with a rationale as to why we shouldn't do it now. So perhaps the solution is to limit the time between the thought and the deed. As soon as we feel the urge to thank, we thank. Simple, yet not.
On your patience idea. It is true that the word savlanut, patience, has it's root in "sovel," which means "to bear" or "endure." But maybe it is possible for patience to mean something else, as it seems to in the following Talmudic teaching (from Sanhedrin 8) which discusses the need for the rabbis (judges) to be patient with the people:
"To what extent must judges be patient? Rabbi Hanan, [and some some teach it in the name of Rabbi Shabatai,] says: To the extent that a nurse carries a little baby (Numbers 11:12)."
This is real patience - not the feigned goodheartedness that we sense with the plastered smile of the seething waiter who we have had to ask to repeat the evening specials for the second time, but genuine love and affection of the kind that a parent has for an infant. So, the challenge is to transform the feeling of impatience, along with the attendant anger, into a different emotion. This is a deep level of spiritual work. But it would mean that you wouldn't be "holding on" - which I take to have some repressive quality - but would rather be transmuting the emotion from something negative to something positive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ttb7yrHN7U
ReplyDeleteToda; Thanks
Words: Uzi Hitman ;Tune: folk .
Thanks for all you have created
Thanks for what you gave me;
For the sight of my eyes
For a friend or two
For what I have in this world
For a flowing song and a forgiving heart
For which thanks to them I exist
Thanks for all you have created
Thanks for what you gave me;
For the laughter of a child
For a blue sky
Thanks for the soil and a warm home
For a place to sit and a loving woman
For which thanks to them I exist
Thanks for all you have created
Thanks for what you gave me;
For a day of happiness
For innocence and honesty
For a sad day that disappeared
And for two thousand cheers
For which thanks to them I exist
Hebrew
תודה
מילים: עוזי חיטמן
לחן: עממי יווני
תודה על כל מה שבראת
תודה על מה שלי נתת
על אור עיניים
חבר או שניים
על מה שיש לי בעולם
על שיר קולח ולב סולח
שבזכותם אני קיים.
תודה על כל מה שבראת
תודה על מה שלי נתת
על צחוק של ילד
ושמי התכלת
על אדמה ובית חם
פינה לשבת אישה אוהבת
שבזכותם אני קיים.
תודה על כל מה שבראת
תודה על מה שלי נתת
על יום של אושר
תמימות ויושר
על יום עצוב שנעלם
תשואות אלפיים וכפיים
שבזכותם אני קיים.
תודה על כל מה שבראת
תודה על מה שלי נתת
על צחוק של ילד
ושמי התכלת
על אדמה ובית חם
פינה לשבת ואישה אוהבת
שבזכותם אני קיים.
תודה על כל מה שבראת
תודה על מה שלי נתת
על אור עיניים
חבר או שניים
על מה שיש לי בעולם
על שיר קולח ולב סולח
שבזכותם אני קיים.
Thanks for the perspective on changing impatience into a positive experience. It’s helped me focus less on my impatience and more on the situation that’s going on, and I’m trying to be more attentive, caring and supportive. There’s a part in the Mussar book that seems to be saying what you said in a different way. In the chapter on patience, there is part about humility that caught my attention. Lack of humility affects our patience because we only get really impatient when we’re thinking about how it affects us, “when it’s interfering with my plans or… standing in the way of my needs.” This is exactly what I was doing. I’d look at the clock and think how much of my time is this going to take, or how much of my energy am I willing to put into this? So it’s really my ego that’s causing the problem, more than the situation itself. When I managed to keep this in mind recently, it was easier to have a positive experience and be more patient. It felt less like being patient and more like being present. A very nice change for me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteOne theme that keeps coming up again and again is empathy. It seems like most areas I’ve been trying to work on (patience, gratitude, compassion, loving-kindness, generosity), go back to empathy. Keeping the other person in mind seems to make doing the right thing easier. It’s been said that “love your neighbor as yourself” is the most important lesson we can learn. I think I’m starting to see why.
On a related note, about journalling, I didn’t write a lot at first. I thought about a lot of situations and my responses, areas I could work on, and wrote them down. But after a while, it seems that every day has multiple entries just on the few topics I’ve chosen to start working on. I’m not sure what that means except that I’m focused on these things now. It’s been eye-opening to realize that these issues come up several times a day when I hadn’t really noticed it much before. Thanks again for this class.
Two questions from the book:
1 – “Don’t be too much of a Pollyanna” (p. 71). Exactly what is a Pollyanna? I thought it was someone with a positive outlook. Can you be too positive?
2 - “It’s forbidden to give verbal thanks.” (p. 73). There are reasons given in the book, but it just seems sort of extreme. Thoughts?